Last Kiss
by legoarwen
Summary: TITLE CHANGED from "it is hard to say goodbye"Just right after endless waltz, Heero found that he had a deadly disease, he was dying and there was no way to stop him from it. how would he cope? and how's relena react to this?wt was she gonna do?
1. Nightmare

It is Hard to say Goodbye

¡§Finally, it¡¦s over.¡¨ This was the last word he could hear before darkness overwhelmed him. He had no strength to fight.

¡§Relena¡K¡K¡K¡K¡¨. Heero murmured. It was the first word he had managed to say. He had no strength to move, his eyes just looked around until his gaze located on someone next to him.

¡§Relena?¡¨

¡§No. I am not Relena. I am a nurse. My name is Ashley. You are in hospital.¡¨ The young female said softly.

¡§I want to see Relena.¡¨ Heero didn¡¦t know why he wanted to see her so badly. He just knew he wanted to see her. To feel her gentle gaze upon him again. To look at her sincere smile just for him.

¡§Ms Dorlain has been here just sit beside you for 3 days since you were in coma. Her brother and friends are worried about her. They had finally convinced her to get some rest 2 hours ago.¡¨

¡§¡K¡K.¡¨ Heero did not feel like replying. He just wanted to get some rest again. He closed his eyes.

¡§But¡K¡K¡¨the nurse said hesitantly.

¡§What!?¡¨ said Heero, being annoyed

¡§The doctor wishes to see you. He has¡K..uh¡K¡Ksome news to inform¡K.¡¨

¡§just let him in¡¨ Heero answered casually, did not know what was waiting for him..

-------------------------------------------

¡§Mr Yuy, I am sorry to inform you the news¡¨ The doctor said formally.

¡§Just say it¡¨ Heero gave him one of his dead gaze.

¡§When you were in coma, we checked your body to heal the bruises and broken bones. And we have found a malignant tumor in your brain. Cancer, put it simply.¡¨

The silence hung in the air was stifling. Heero did not know what to say. He has prepared to die since he was given training. However, he was now really dying. He did not want it. Not now, not when the world had finally achieved peace¡K¡Knot when he has made friends with other four pilots¡K¡Knot when he knew what love is¡K.when he fell in love with none other than Relena Peacecraft¡K..yes¡Khow ironic¡Khe has finally realized he was in love with Relena at the same time knowing that he was dying.

And what the doctor said made his heart sink even lower. ¡§ I am regret to inform you that it is too late. The tumor has grown quite big now. We can not get rid of it by surgery. It is way too risky. So¡K¡K.you have about 1 year left I suppose.¡¨

¡§Any questions?¡¨

Relena¡¦s images kept showing in Heero¡¦s head. Herro knew clearly that Relena was attracted to him. He was not being conceited or what. It was just simply obvious. She followed him everywhere. He did not know if she loved him or just some short infatuation like other teenagers did. He hoped it was the latter. He could not stand Relena¡¦s tear, moaned over his life all her life. Because he loved her, not infatuated, but loved. Realization hit his head. Relena could not know about this!!

¡§Am I the first one to know this news?¡¨

¡§Of course, the patient is always the first¡¨

¡§So, nobody knows of this yet?¡¨

¡§Absolutely¡¨

¡§Can you promise not to tell anyone?¡¨

¡§huh¡K¡K¡¨ the doctor thought for a moment. ¡§ Okay, we respected the decision of the patient. Although we prefer to let his friends know so he can get support from them¡¨

¡§I don¡¦t need those¡¨

¡§That¡¦s fine. Rest please. We will inform the course of treatment to you later on.¡¨

¡§what¡¦s the point of having those fucking treatment if I am sure I am dying?¡¨

¡§well¡K¡Kit will relieve your pain and may make your life a little longer¡¨ The doctor than feeling his anger, left the room quietly.

¡¥Relieve my pain?¡¦ Pain was no stranger to Heero. He did not need those treatments. He was dying anyway. It wouldn¡¦t help if it could only make his life a LITTLE longer. A month? No use at all.

As Heero was deep in thought, he did not realize the door was opened.

¡§Heero?¡¨ as he looked up, he saw the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. Relena was looking at him with concern. ¡§Are you okay?¡¨ She let her hands to touch his cheeks. ¡§ You look very pale. Heero?¡¨

Heero pushed away her hands roughly. Her hands were so warm, too warm, it cut his heart deep to know that he can never has those hands on his cheeks in the coming days¡K.that he had to leave those hands to keep its owner away from the grief she would experience.

He felt Relena¡¦s body trembled a bit. She was hurt. She seemed to fight against the tears that were going to fall from her eyes. ¡¥Holy shit, what are you doing Heero Yuy?¡¦ he thought desperately. 

Relena was fighting against the tears. She tried to smile, pretending to take no notice at Heero¡¦s rejection. But she could not help it. The tears have already falling down. She burst out ¡§Heero, can u just look at me? I know you are really annoyed ny me! I am really worried about you!! I know you are strong! But can you just let me step in. I care about you!! You know it!! I love you!! I am so in love in you!! I cant even stop myself!! I am so fucking in love with you!!¡¨

¡¥That is¡¦ Heero thought. His worst fear came true. Relena was in love with him. He couldn¡¦t image how great the sorrow she would been though if she knew the news. How much he wanted to tell her he loved her as much as she loved him, how much he wanted to wipe away the tears in Relena¡¦s eyes, to hug her and comfort her, tell her everything is okay. But he knew it would never happen

And he just sat here, looking at her with blank eyes, controlling his emotions.

¡§ I am sorry to trouble you. I shall leave now. Please take care.¡¨

Heero tried his best to stop himself to get up and stop her.

Before closing the door., Relena turned around and said ¡§ But remember that, Heero Yuy, no matter how little I mean to you, how you don¡¦t care about me, I will always love you, forever, never forget that¡¨

Heero did not what to feel, happy to know someone that loves him this much? Angry with the god played such a cruel game with him? Sad f for what¡¦s Relena is going to go though?? All he managed to said after a long while Relena left was ¡§ I love you too, Forever¡¨

Guys, pls review!! I don¡¦t know should I continue it if no one reads it!! So pls review!! Pls !! comment pls!! I wanna improve, and if you spot some mistakes, do tell me, I am a Hong Kong, So pls excuse my poor English.!!


	2. Let go

Chapter 2:  
  
Let go  
  
Relena walked out the room. Her eyes were red, still stained with tears. The other four pilots and her brother and sister in law were standing in front of her.   
  
¡§ Relena, are you okay? You are crying! My god, what happen?¡¨ Quatre said softly  
  
¡§no, I am fine, so does Heero. But he is tired, we need to leave him alone and give him some rest¡¨ Relena said softly  
  
¡§It is apparently not!! What that son of bitch said to you!? Has he hurt you? Sure he has!! Tell me, your brother will make him pay for it!!¡¨ Milliardo said angrily.  
  
¡§No, Heero doesn¡¦t hurt me, he just¡K..¡¨ Relena¡¦s words were choked by tears  
  
¡§Just what?¡¨ Milliardo demanded.  
  
¡§He was just telling me the truth¡¨ Relena whispered.  
  
¡§What truth?¡¨ Milliardo kept asking, not noticing how pale Relena looked.  
  
¡§The truth that he does not love me and he will never return my love!!!!!¡¨ Relena screamed out, broke down into the tears.   
  
¡§I will kill that bastard¡¨ Milliardo hissed, before Relena could stop him, Quatre stand in front of him.   
  
¡§No, I will talk to him. I am better at convincing.¡¨ ¡¥Heero loves Relena, doesn¡¦t he?? I can tell by the way he protects her. The way he looks at her. I must talk to him¡¦Quatre thought silently  
  
¡§yeah, he is right¡¨ said Noin  
  
~*~  
  
Heero didn¡¦t feel well. He didn¡¦t feel well at all. He was having a serve migraine. He shut his eyes tightly from screaming or moaning aloud. He was grinding his teeth in pain. He squeezed his fists so hard that they started to bleed. Then he had an urgent to throw up. But the bathroom was too far away, he could not move because of the headache. He was now a weakling!! He was so ashamed of himself. He felt frustrated.  
  
And at the worst possible time, Quatre opened the door and stepped in.   
  
¡§Hi, Heero¡K¡Kwhat¡¦s up with your hand?¡¨ Quatre asked seriously  
  
¡§Nothing important, just broken the glass¡¨ In Heero¡¦s heart, he wished Quatre to go away more than anything. It was difficult to hide the pain.  
  
It was obvious that Quatre did not believe in his stupid lie. Heero thought dumbly.  
  
¡§why are you here anyway? Give me some rest¡¨  
  
¡§You know, why do you reject Relena? You love her, don¡¦t you? I can tell¡¨  
  
¡§So what?¡¨  
  
¡§So you admit you do love her! So you can accept her confession and you two will be happy with each other¡¦s company!!¡¨  
  
¡¥Never¡¦ Heero thought sadly. ¡§Then why don¡¦t you tell her your feeling?? You love her, don¡¦t you?¡¨  
  
¡§How can¡K¡K¡¨  
  
¡§How can I know? It is just plainly obvious¡¨  
  
¡§But she loves you, I want her to be happy¡¨  
  
¡§Believe me or not, be with me will be the last thing that makes her happy¡¨ he thought ¡¥since I am dying¡¦  
  
Quatre frowned slightly ¡§Why do you have to do stupid things like this? Just admit your feeling and everything will be fine.¡¨  
  
Everything will become worse was all Heero able to think of. Suddenly, the urgent to vomit appeared again. ¡§ Quatre, go away.¡¨ almost begged him  
  
¡§No! not until you tell me the reason¡¨  
  
¡§You will not understand¡¨  
  
¡§Enlighten me¡¨  
  
¡§Why do you have to¡K¡K.¡¨ The perfect soldier could not stand anymore, he opened his mouth and started to throw up. And to his horror, there was blood. He tried to hide it, but it was too late. Quatre has saw it really clearly.  
  
¡§Heero, what happen? Tell me! What are you hiding?? You just vomit blood!¡¨ Quatre¡¦s eyes widen.  
  
Heero knew he couldn¡¦t just say it is okay to cover Quatre¡¦s mouth. He could do nothing apart from telling the truth.  
  
¡§Okay, but swear not to tell a soul, especially not Relena¡¨  
  
¡§I don¡¦t know, maybe it is important¡¨  
  
¡§Then go away¡¨  
  
Quatre thought for a moment ¡§Okay, I swear¡¨  
  
¡§I am dying¡K.¡¨  
  
The air suddenly became stifling.  
  
¡§You what?¡¨ Quatre was frozen. Quatre didn¡¦t believe his ears, no, he refused to listen to his ears  
  
¡§You heard me clearly, Quatre. I am dying. I have cancer. I only have less than a year time¡¨  
  
¡§Relena? Is that the reason?¡¨ Quatre started to babbled.  
  
¡§yes, I cant lie to you anyway. You will figure it out. How will Relena react to this?? I can¡¦t give happiness to her but sorrow! I am destined not to be with her! If I accept her the grief she gonna experience will be much bigger than she has now, do you understand?¡¨ A tear dropped from Heero¡¦s eyes. It was the first time he cried for his disease. He cried for himself, he was going to die at such a young age; he cried for his friends, that they were going to lose a partner; he cried for Relena, that she was in love with a dying person; most of all, he cried for a love that can never be fulfilled, a love that could have the power to overcome everything but a little tumor.  
  
¡§Heero¡K..¡¨ Realization hit Quatre hard. The one who experienced the most pain was not him, nor Relena, but Heero himself. Both physical and emotion¡K.and he had to carry them on his shoulder all by his own, alone, without any support. It was hard, it was not the losing battle he used to fight.   
  
¡§Quatre, can you promise me something?¡¨ Heero¡¦s voice suddenly became very soft. He had used too much effort before and he now didn¡¦t have the effort to speak.  
  
¡§anything..¡¨  
  
¡§Thanks¡¨ Heero smiled his rare smile. ¡§Please take care of Relena, and please make her forget me.¡¨  
  
¡§What do you mean?¡¨ Quatre shocked  
  
¡§You know exactly what I mean, please confess your love to her and go out with her. You are the only one that I can be trust of, to hand Relena to you¡K.ha¡K..how stupid I am¡K..Relena isn¡¦t mine.¡¨  
  
¡§No! Relena loves you! And it is so unfair to you. You have to sit here and see we two fall in love? It is ridiculous!¡¨  
  
¡§no one says life is fair. Now can you just fulfill my only wish¡Kplease I am not too greedy, am I? I just want to see her smile. There is a saying goes ¡¥if you love someone, let her go¡¦¡¨ Heero stopped, he could not finished the sentence. It was just too hurtful. ¡¥if she comes back, it will be yours forever¡¦ there was no forever, there would never be ¡¥forever¡¦¡K.and when Relena was going to come back, he has already dead.  
  
¡§ok, I will try. But I don¡¦t think Relena will love me. Her heart will only and just belong to you¡¨  
  
¡§Deal¡¨  
  
¡§Get some rest¡¨  
  
Just as Quatre left, Heero bent down and vomited again. A year? Maybe less than it¡K.6 months perhaps. He thought sadly..  
  
Do you think it is touching or sad?? I try to make it but it doesn¡¦t really seem so, I hope it is just because I am too cruel. Pls review!! And tell me what do you think? Is it sad enough?? Or should I make it sadder?? 


End file.
